Jamila Woods continues to advance in a music tournament she could not possibly care about.

oh no part one | why part two | oh great part three | seriously four? | five is enough

ONE PERK OF WORKING at Propeller is that editors encourage the staff to pursue outside interests–even during work hours. When I show up every day to work on Album Bracketology (a full-time, year-round endeavor), the editors immediately greet me and encourage me to go elsewhere, like the park, the dance studio, or the nearby Newfoundland Folk Music Preservation Center where there is a special exhibit honoring the legendary Dick Nolan. [Ed note: Readers click Album Bracketology links at their own risk.]

Sometimes, when I have writer’s block, I am encouraged to take a break and work on hobbies, like competitive cup stacking. As I was stacking cups the other day in the stacking gym in the basement of the Propeller offices, I was watching UMBC-Virginia in the first round of the NCAA tournament. By becoming the first No. 16 seed to beat a No. 1 seed, UMBC proved that every team has a chance, even if it’s tiny. In Album Bracketology, every album starts with the same chance. We started with 256 and are down to 64. Critical favorites Lorde and Kendrick Lamar are still alive, but of Metacritic’s year-end compilation of Top 10 lists, only eight of the critics’ top 25 remain in Album Bracketology. Lorde, Kendrick Lamar, St. Vincent and LCD Soundsytem are Duke, Kentucky, Villanova and Kansas. [Ed. note: So Kansas announced its retirement from basketball a few years ago so it could hold a big self-celebration and juice ticket sales, but then returned to playing basketball again later as if the whole retirement thing never happened? Or is it that only LCD Soundsystem? Sorry, confused here.] Upstarts Heather Kropf, the Autonomics, Jamila Woods, and Jay Som are Loyola-Chicago, Nevada, Texas A & M, and Kansas State. The latter four may be underdogs, but at this point, they still have a shot. We will join sideline reporter Alvin B for some in-bracket action in a moment. But first…

Heather Kropfdate: When we last left Heather Kropf, she had defeated three artists that will all end up in the top 70: Rapsody (No. 70), Allison Crutchfield (place TBD) and St. Vincent (TBD). Heather moves on in the winners bracket fourth round to take on Houston teen sensation Khalid, who was born around the same time Heather released her first album, Sky. “I am the unsoccer unmom up against a high school student. I love that,” writes Heather. “I think it’s a tough call between his and mine–sound/production/pop/current vs. seasoned/nuanced/songwriter project. Good luck.”

“the editorial staff protests the continuation of album bracketology. nothing in it merits a pull quote. do not put anything here.”

Breaking news: Meanwhile, down in losers bracket round 5, Jason Isbell defeats Heather’s first-round opponent, Allison Crutchfield. Isbell, a Metacritic top 25 pick and a former Album Bracketology champion, is still alive in his quest to become the first two-time winner of the ABC (Album Bracketology Cup). [Ed. note: Let’s run a fact check on this: Does Isbell actually have a “quest” re: Album Bracketology? Wait, cancel that. Just fact-checked it by thinking about it for half a second. He does not.]

Sideline reporter instant analysis: Alvin B deemed the quadrant of Charly Bliss, Thundercat, Vic Mensa, and Jay Som, as “the perfect B side,” which is similar to four formidable teams in the same pool play of the World Cup being referred to as the “group of death.” [Ed. note: Wow, I’d never realized it, but “the perfect B side” and “group of death” are incredibly similar. Is the author drunk?] Any of these artists have Top 10 potential but have to go through each other to get there. Thundercat defeats Charly Bliss, and Jay Som beats Vic Mensa to set up a Sweet 16 match-up between Thundercat and Jay Som.

Heather Kropfdate: After listening to all of the Khalid album, Heather says, “Put my first album against this one of his and I wouldn’t stand a chance. Put his fifth album against my fifth album and I probably wouldn’t stand a chance. But this current match-up is cool.” What is even cooler is that Heather won, setting up a match-up with Lorde during the next installment.

will someone please replace this photo is anyone here anyone working on this

Alvin Bracketology reports that losers bracket round 5 has concluded, meaning we countdown from 64 to 49. With our video selections that say goodbye to these fine albums, we celebrate the variety of female voices who put out albums in 2017.

64. Grace VanderWaal, Just the Beginning
63. Los Colognes, The Wave
62. Bomba Estereo, Ayo

Colombian band Bomba Estereo mixes Latin dance, hip-hop, and roller skating to create a sound that is infectious and highly danceable.

61. Diet Cig, Swear I’m Good at This
60. Wolf Alice, Visions of a Life
59. Phoebe Bridgers, Stranger in the Alps
58. Valley Queen, Destroyer

By contrast, Valley Queen brings in a smoky classic rock sound from vocalist Natalie Carol. Their album Destroyer was one of my favorite new discoveries of the year. [Ed. note: Particularly like how the author’s use of “new discoveries” in that sentence clarifies that the album was not one of his “old discoveries” of the year. Very helpful.]

57. Blitzen Trapper, Wild and Reckless
56. Old 97’s, Graveyard Whistling
55. Priests, Nothing Feels Natural
54. Allison Crutchfield, Tourist in This Town
53. Benjamin Booker, Witness
52. Nicole Atkins, Goodnight Rhonda Lee

Nicole Atkins is a little bit Patsy Cline, a little bit Roy Orbison, and a hundred percent badass.

51. Hiss Golden Messenger, Hallelujah Anyhow
50. The Regrettes, Feel Your Feelings, Fool!
49. Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings, Soul of a Woman

The top album out of this round’s eliminees is from Sharon Jones, who died late in 2016, shortly before the release of her new album. The Dap-Kings appeared on The Tonight Show shortly thereafter with this fitting tribute.

We go straight into losers bracket round 6 where Gogol Bordello and Japanese Breakfast have rallied to win five straight match-ups in the losers bracket.

Breaking news: Unpublished sister zine Pontoon is currently running a race to name the best year of music in the 1980s. [Ed. note: A zine can’t run a race.] The race is ten laps, with a year being eliminated after every lap. [Ed. note: So a zine runs a race, and after every lap…a year is eliminated? No, don’t get it. Don’t want to. Don’t want to understand what is happening here.] 1988 is running well but is not in the lead, unlike Heather Kropf, who is essentially leading after four laps of Album Bracketology.

48. Tyler Childers, Purgatory
47. The Parson Red Heads, Blurred Harmony
46. A Giant Dog, Toy
45. Khalid, American Teen
44. Protomartyr, Relatives in Descent
43. Curtis Harding, Face Your Fear
42. Girlpool, Powerplant
41. Broken Social Scene, Hug of Thunder
40. Japanese Breakfast, Soft Sounds from Another Planet

Breaking news: Japanese Breakfast, the solo project of Michelle Zauner, bows out to Charly Bliss and finishes in the top 40 for the second year in a row.

Breaking news: St. Vincent and LCD Soundsystem, Metacritic’s critic choices (say that eight times fast and win a free subscription to Propeller!) [Ed. note: We don’t offer subscriptions. All subscribers left after the first Album Bracketology tournament.] Nos. 4 and 5 say good bye together. Out of the top 25 critic choices for 2017, only four remain in Album Bracketology: Kendrick Lamar, Lorde, the War on Drugs, and the National.

39. LCD Soundsystem, american dream
38. St. Vincent, MASSEDUCTION
37. Open Mike Eagle, Brick Body Kids Still Daydream
36. Muna, About U

Muna makes an impressive Album Bracketology debut, beating critical darlings and finishing No. 36.

Breaking news: College basketball fans have been hearing for years that sometime–some fluky day–a No. 16 seed would beat a No. 1. But it never happened. Until this year. The same prognosticators said no Album Bracketology winner will never ever win the Album Bracketology Cup twice. [Ed. note: No winner will…never ever win twice. So that means that some winner will…at some point win twice? Hmm. Since the author’s goal seems to be a complete lack of clarity, I’m concerned that sentence might actually parse into something only semi-baffling. I’m surprised the author didn’t go with “No non-winner will never ever not lose my nonexistent cup unzero times.” That construction seems more in line with the written voice here.] And they may be right. Doomed by a difficult draw, 2013 champion Jason Isbell says goodbye, finishing 33rd and guaranteeing we will drag out the search for a repeat champion to next year. [Ed. note: Any readers remaining must be suffering intense pain and exquisite self-hatred for reading this far. Seems irresponsible—cruel, really—to threaten readers with future tournaments here.]

35. Phoenix, Ti Amo
34. Ted Leo, The Hanged Man
33. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, The Nashville Sound

I need to stop writing [Ed. note: Yes!] and go stack some cups in order to gain inspiration for the next installment [Ed. note: Oh.] that will whittle things down to the Sweet 16, or the Elite Eight, if we get on a roll. Here is where we stand now:

105. Kweku Collins, Grey
104. Polyrhythmics, Caldera
103. SZA, CTRL
102. Sera Cahoone, From Where I Started
101. Cody ChesnuTT, My Love Divine Degree
100. The Juju, The Exchange
99. Japandroids, Near to the Wild Heart of Life
98. War and Treaty, Down to the River
97. The Kickback, Weddings & Funerals
96. Giants in the Trees, Giants in the Trees
95. Feral Conservatives, Better Lives
94. Minus the Bear, VOIDS
93. The Lone Bellow, Walk Into a Storm
92. Algiers, The Underside of Power
91. Kevin Morby, City Music
90. Briana Marela, Call It Love
89. Moses Sumney, Aromanticism
88. Portugal. The Man, Woodstock
87. Gorillaz, Humanz
86. Guantanamo Baywatch, Desert Center
85. Lady Lamb, Tender Warriors Club
84. Theo Katzman, Heartbreak Hits
83. Palehound, A Place I’ll Always Go
82. This is the Kit, Moonshine Freeze
81. Kelley Stoltz, Que Aura
80. Tall Tall Trees, Freedays
79. Overcoats, Young
78. Sampha, Process
77. Spoon, Hot Thoughts
76. Passion Pit, Tremendous Sea of Love
75. Songhoy Blues, Resistance
74. The Sadies, Northern Passages
73. Julien Baker, Turn Out the Lights
72. Bash & Pop, Anything Could Happen
71. The Weather Station, The Weather Station
70. Rapsody, Laila’s Wisdom
69. Aldous Harding, Party
68. Laura Marling, Semper Femina
67. Alex Lahey, I Love You Like a Brother
66. Loyle Carner, Yesterday’s Gone
65. Rainer Maria, S/T
64. Grace VanderWaal, Just the Beginning
63. Los Colognes, The Wave
62. Bomba Estereo, Ayo
61. Diet Cig, Swear I’m Good at This
60. Wolf Alice, Visions of a Life
59. Phoebe Bridgers, Stranger in the Alps
58. Valley Queen, Destroyer
57. Blitzen Trapper, Wild and Reckless
56. Old 97’s, Graveyard Whistling
55. Priests, Nothing Feels Natural
54. Allison Crutchfield, Tourist in This Town
53. Benjamin Booker, Witness
52. Nicole Atkins, Goodnight Rhonda Lee
51. Hiss Golden Messenger, Hallelujah Anyhow
50. The Regrettes, Feel Your Feelings, Fool!
49. Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, Soul of a Woman
48. Tyler Childers, Purgatory
47. The Parson Red Heads, Blurred Harmony
46. A Giant Dog, Toy
45. Khalid, American Teen
44. Protomartyr, Relatives in Descent
43. Curtis Harding, Face Your Fear
42. Japanese Breakfast, Soft Sounds from Another Planet
41. Girlpool, Powerplant
40. Broken Social Scene, Hug of Thunder
39. LCD Soundsystem, american dream
38. St. Vincent, MASSEDUCTION
37. Open Mike Eagle, Brick Body Kids Still Daydream
36. Muna, About U
35. Phoenix, Ti Amo
34. Ted Leo, The Hanged Man
33. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, The Nashville Sound

Matthew Kauffman Smith is a dancer and freelance amateur magician. He has been holding conceptual tournaments in his room to determine the best album of the year for many, many years. Nevertheless, his argument that Weird Al Yankovic should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is sound and persuasive.