Melina Dutarte could not possibly care about this music tournament she has done well in.

oh no part one | why part two | oh great part three | seriously four? | five is enough

Breaking News: I was suspended without pay from Propeller for, allegedly, writing a fake letter from the Propeller editors in my last installment of Album Bracketology. After that suspension, one editor found a sign on my cubicle that said “hiatus” scrambled around to read “I hat (e) us.” That led to an indefinite suspension—until the readership noticed Album Bracketology was gone. Quite a few people sent in this Cinderella classic video in protest. [Ed. note: DO NOT CLICK THE LINK IT LEADS TO AN ACTUAL CINDERELLA VIDEO.] One person even picketed outside of the Propeller studios with a “Free Album Bracketology” picket sign. At that point, the editors had no course of action other than reinstatement. [Ed. note: Everything in the previous paragraph is false.]

So, here we are in the Sweet 16 of the 2017 Album of the Year Tournament. In this installment, we will reduce the field to four, as well as hold a countdown of the top three record labels of the year.

Breaking News: Losers bracket round 9 has just ended, with the shocking development of Punk rockers Downtown Boys defeating Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN., the cumulative critical choice for album of the year.

16. Valerie June, The Order of Time
15. Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.

Back in the late spring my frontrunner for album of the year was Valerie June. [Ed. note: Valerie June is a person, not an album.] She was a bit like Arizona State and Oklahoma in men’s college basketball this year. Had the basketball season year ended midseason, those two teams could have met in the championship game. [Ed note: The idea that there are serious college basketball fans who also read Album Bracketology seems flawed. But that is partially because it seems unlikely there are any readers of Bracketology at all...which, however, would mean the relevance of the metaphors doesn't matter. Okay, we’ll let that stand.] We pay tribute to No. 16 and the champion of the first half of the year:

Elsewhere, Sir the Baptist continues his rally by defeating the punk/classic rock/funky/angry/joyful hodgepodge that is Sheer Mag.

14. Sheer Mag, Need to Feel Your Love
13. Bedouine, Bedouine

Heather Kropfdate: When we last left underdog Heather Kropf, she was gearing up for a match-up with heavy favorite Lorde. “I listened to Lorde’s new album, and then I had to listen to mine in its entirety just to get a feel for the comparison,” Heather writes. “Hers is an Oreo cookie after Oreo cookie after Oreo cookie with a lot of little tasty tricks and no nutritional value. And mine is like a summer picnic, maybe an almond croissant or some pears and figs in honey. You know?”

Like Sheer Mag, Bedouine came out of nowhere with her debut to climb into the top fifteen, and earned Heather Kropf’s affection on the way. Heather, former contestant and now sideline analyst, doesn’t impress easily. I once stuck ten toothpicks up one nostril using just my tongue in college. Heather was pretty meh about the whole thing. But Bedouine is a real talent. “Holy crap the Beduoine album is amazing,” Heather wrote. “Her writing is brilliant – makes me think of Paul Simon’s early stuff.”

Meanwhile, in the quarterfinals of the winner’s bracket, Thundercat, The National, Elbow, and Lorde move on to the Final Four. Then all four quarterfinal losers immediately lost in losers bracket round 10.

12. Chuck Prophet, Bobby Fuller Died for Your Sins
11. Jamila Woods, HEAVN

Jamila Wood’s label Jagjaguwar finishes as the No. 3 record label of the year. While Woods was the Jagjag’s shining star, the formidable Indiana label also placed albums from Briana Marela (No. 90) and Moses Sumney (No. 89), as well as decent releases from Foxygen and Cut Worms.

The No. 2 label of the year award goes to ATO, which charted with Benjamin Booker (No. 53), the Old 97s (No. 56), and the tenth best album of the year:

10. Hurray for the Riff Raff, The Navigator

Elsewhere, Oddisee finishes in the top ten for the second time and charted his fourth album in three years. [Ed. note: Elsewhere? What could the author possibly be referring to by use of the word “elsewhere” here? Elsewhere...in his mind? This is the kind of sentence that seems to suggest a deep, almost scary cognitive dysfunction—a problem way beyond writing.]

9. Oddisee, The Iceberg

Alvin B’s instant analysis of losers bracket round 11: The winners of the losers bracket round 10 all share the common characteristic of being first-time entrants into Album Bracketology. Sir the Baptist and Vic Mensa had the most impressive runs, winning five straight matches in the losers bracket since both losing in the fourth round of the winners bracket. Atlantic Record label mates War on Drugs defeated Sir the Baptist in that round but then finished No. 20. Jay Som defeated Vic Mensa. Sir the Baptist and Vic Mensa probably engaged in the most listen-offs and kept getting stronger with each play. Jay Som’s impressive debut defeated Sir the Baptist in a final listen-off, while Mensa beat the Downtown Boys.

8. Sir the Baptist, Saint or Sinner
7. Downtown Boys, Cost of Living

Sir the Baptist, War on Drugs, and Portugal. The Man (No. 88) helped Atlantic Records become an honorable mention in the label countdown and are the major record label of the year. [Ed. note: The major record label of the year is an honorable mention in the label countdown, and also, sure, confuse readers needlessly for the sake of confusion, it will be an honorable mention in the confusion countdown and the major label confusion strategy of hoohaw geegaw makestuffup.] Trivia question: who feuded with Atlantic Records a decade ago and wore an “Atlantic Records Sucks” T-shirt on tour? [Ed. note: Oh, no. Don’t tell me it’s going to be Weird Al.] Answer: Weird Al, who despite James Blunt’s blessing, was denied by Atlantic Records the opportunity to release “You’re Pitiful,” Weird Al’s parody of Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful.” Do you know who still wasn’t on the ballot for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Weird Al. Do you know who Atlantic Records band Portugal. The Man chose to remix their uber-catchy single “Feel it Still”? Answer:

Back to the countdown/tournament, where in the championship semifinals Lorde defeated Elbow and Thundercat defeated The National. So, we finally get down to the Final Four, as Elbow defeats Vic Mensa and The National beats Jay Som.

6. Vic Mensa, Autobiography
5. Jay Som, Everybody Works

Heather Kropfdate: Though Heather was eliminated and finished No. 22, she still watched the action from the sidelines and was super impressed with both Mensa and Jay Som. “There’s one tune, ‘Wings,’” Heather said of a track on Mensa’s album. “That was the most raw thing I’ve heard in maybe forever.”

Record label of the year: Melina Dutarte’s project, Jay Som, propelled Polyvinyl Records to Propeller’s inaugural coronation of the best record label of 2017. In addition to the No. 5 finish, Polyvinyl bands White Reaper (No. 24), Alvvays (No. 25), Rainer Maria (No. 65), and Palehound (No. 83) all chart, while Hazel English, Pet Symmetry, and Fred Thomas all just missed the top 105.

In the next installment, Propeller will proudly reveal its album of the year, as well as look ahead to the crop set to invade the brackets in 2018.

105. Kweku Collins, Grey
104. Polyrhythmics, Caldera
103. SZA, CTRL
102. Sera Cahoone, From Where I Started
101. Cody ChesnuTT, My Love Divine Degree
100. The Juju, The Exchange
99. Japandroids, Near to the Wild Heart of Life
98. War and Treaty, Down to the River
97. The Kickback, Weddings & Funerals
96. Giants in the Trees, Giants in the Trees
95. Feral Conservatives, Better Lives
94. Minus the Bear, VOIDS
93. The Lone Bellow, Walk Into a Storm
92. Algiers, The Underside of Power
91. Kevin Morby, City Music
90. Briana Marela, Call It Love
89. Moses Sumney, Aromanticism
88. Portugal. The Man, Woodstock
87. Gorillaz, Humanz
86. Guantanamo Baywatch, Desert Center
85. Lady Lamb, Tender Warriors Club
84. Theo Katzman, Heartbreak Hits
83. Palehound, A Place I’ll Always Go
82. This is the Kit, Moonshine Freeze
81. Kelley Stoltz, Que Aura
80. Tall Tall Trees, Freedays
79. Overcoats, Young
78. Sampha, Process
77. Spoon, Hot Thoughts
76. Passion Pit, Tremendous Sea of Love
75. Songhoy Blues, Resistance
74. The Sadies, Northern Passages
73. Julien Baker, Turn Out the Lights
72. Bash & Pop, Anything Could Happen
71. The Weather Station, The Weather Station
70. Rapsody, Laila’s Wisdom
69. Aldous Harding, Party
68. Laura Marling, Semper Femina
67. Alex Lahey, I Love You Like a Brother
66. Loyle Carner, Yesterday’s Gone
65. Rainer Maria, S/T
64. Grace VanderWaal, Just the Beginning
63. Los Colognes, The Wave
62. Bomba Estereo, Ayo
61. Diet Cig, Swear I’m Good at This
60. Wolf Alice, Visions of a Life
59. Phoebe Bridgers, Stranger in the Alps
58. Valley Queen, Destroyer
57. Blitzen Trapper, Wild and Reckless
56. Old 97’s, Graveyard Whistling
55. Priests, Nothing Feels Natural
54. Allison Crutchfield, Tourist in This Town
53. Benjamin Booker, Witness
52. Nicole Atkins, Goodnight Rhonda Lee
51. Hiss Golden Messenger, Hallelujah Anyhow
50. The Regrettes, Feel Your Feelings, Fool!
49. Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, Soul of a Woman
48. Tyler Childers, Purgatory
47. The Parson Red Heads, Blurred Harmony
46. A Giant Dog, Toy
45. Khalid, American Teen
44. Protomartyr, Relatives in Descent
43. Curtis Harding, Face Your Fear
42. Japanese Breakfast, Soft Sounds from Another Planet
41. Girlpool, Powerplant
40. Broken Social Scene, Hug of Thunder
39. LCD Soundsystem, american dream
38. St. Vincent, MASSEDUCTION
37. Open Mike Eagle, Brick Body Kids Still Daydream
36. Muna, About U
35. Phoenix, Ti Amo
34. Ted Leo, The Hanged Man
33. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, The Nashville Sound
32. Son Little, New Magic
31. Gogol Bordello, Seekers and Finders
30. Wolf Parade, Cry, Cry, Cry
29. Mynabirds, BE HERE NOW
28. Charly Bliss, Guppy
27. Aimee Mann, Mental Illness
26. Talib Kweli, Radio Silence
25. White Reaper, The World’s Best American Band
24. Alvvays, Antisocialites
23. Rips, Rips
22. Heather Kropf, Lights
21. Waxahatchee, Out in the Storm
20. War on Drugs, A Deeper Understanding
19. Michael Head and the Red Elastic Band, Adios Senor Pussycat
18. The xx, I See You
17. Autonomics, Debt Sounds
16. Valerie June, The Order of Time
15. Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.
14. Sheer Mag, Need to Feel Your Love
13. Bedouine, Bedouine
12. Chuck Prophet, Bobby Fuller Died for Your Sins
11. Jamila Woods, HEAVN
10. Hurray for the Riff Raff, The Navigator
9. Oddisee, The Iceberg
8. Sir the Baptist, Saint or Sinner
7. Downtown Boys, Cost of Living
6. Vic Mensa, Autobiography
5. Jay Som, Everybody Works

Matthew Kauffman Smith is a dancer and freelance amateur magician. He has been holding conceptual tournaments in his room to determine the best album of the year for many, many years. Nevertheless, his argument that Weird Al Yankovic should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is sound and persuasive.